This article is aimed at helping especially married couples who are not fully experienced in their sexual lives. Sex is one of the tools which make a relationship intimate and spicier. Some marriages are a failure due to the lack of connection through the sexualities of the two partners. So therefore sex should be taken seriously as it either breaks or makes our marriages.
In sex, most people would only have to try three positions- The man on top, the woman on top and the doggy style. It’s time to look out for more ways to enjoy this natural phenomenon. A variety in your sex life would mean a fresh sex life. Adding new positions to your existing one radically improves your sex life. The old adage “It’s not what you have got but what you do with it”. It is true some positions can help a man seem bigger; others make the pleasure double and longer. A woman can make her Vagina tighter or looser pending on the way she moves her body. Different positions allow access to different erotic zones, making it easier to hit those hot spots during sex. Some allow for a deeper penetration, some induce stimulation. While some allow for a lot of eye contact and touching. Do you want better orgasms? Many women achieve orgasms through penetrative sex alone but it does not have to be this way; using different positions can make it much easier. Positions that allow for the stimulation of the clitoris, the G- spots or both during sex help the women to reach the climax more easily. Trying out new positions can increase communications and intimacy between you and your partner. You do not have to be a gymnast to have great sex but doing the same thing time and time again should be a thing to the past. Let’s pause to take a look at some terminologies we will come across as we try to learn new ways we can exploit our sexualities.
I. Orgasm– The moment during sexual activity when feelings of sexual pleasure are at their strongest.
ii. G– spot- (according It is a bean- shaped area of the Vagina that many Women report to contain an erogenous zone which when stimulated can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. It is typically located one to three inches up the front (anterior) vaginal wall between the Vagina opening and the Urethra.
iii. cum– A sexual meaning of ejaculation.
iv. A– zone- This is between the Woman’s G- spot and her Cervix, which is an area called the anterior fornix’s zone, found by scientists investigating for vaginal dryness in 1996. It can be felt with the fingers; firstly feeling the G- spot, about one- third the way up, then to the cervix which feels round (this is done with care to avoid rupture). Then the fingers are moved backwards until they are halfway between the G- spot and the Cervix. This spot is the A-zone and it is believed to be its stimulation which makes the woman cries with a high pitched tone “ah!”
v. Cervix– The lower narrow potion of the Uterus where it joins with the top end of the vagina. It is cylindrical and conical in shape where it protrudes through the upper anterior vaginal wall.
vi. Clitoris– The small sensitive Organ just above the opening of a Woman’s vagina which becomes larger when she is sexually excited.
vii. Vagina– The passage in the body of a female between the outer sex organs and the womb.
viii. Penis– The Organ on the body of a male that is used for urinating and sex.
ix. Gagging reflex– A reflex contraction of the back of the throat, evoked by touching the soft palate. It prevents something from entering the throat except as part of normal swallowing and helps prevent choking.
x. Pubic Bone– This is the main large bone of the pubic region composing either half of the Pelvis.
xi. Torso– This is an anatomical term for the central part of the human body firm which extends the neck and the limbs. It is sometimes referred to as the Trunk.
xii. Vulva– This is simply the external genital organs of the female.
xiii. Clitoral stimulation- The stimulation of which may produce sexual excitement and clitoral erection; its continuing stimulation may produce sexual pleasure.
It is not just penetrative sex which involves a range of positions; oral sex can be varied to get different kinds of stimulation. One of the classic common positions is when a woman lies back with the man between her legs and ravels in the sensation.
This position gives him easy access to the clitoris and it is also easy to incorporate a toy or fingers into the vagina. For a truly decadent experience, the man should lie on his back, whilst the woman kneels between his thighs. Sucking him in this position is even better when the woman looks at him straight in the eyes while performing. The more he sees your enjoyment the more it turns him on.
Oral sex performed by a woman on her knees is seen by some as incorrect but a well planned interchange of dominant and submissive roles during sex can be a good way to boost your sexual pleasures. Indeed the man can as well kneel while the woman stands. But a minus about this position is that it could be knee trembling.
Depending on the size and width of the Man’s Penis, approaching the Penis from the side may be much easier. This position makes it easy to stroke his balls and as well as his Anus, if he is into that kind of a thing. For the best orgasm for a woman through Oral sex, an approach from the side can help. The man also has easy access to stimulate the clitoris. This is particularly good if the woman has a sensitive clitoris. Or also, he can try from behind. The woman should get unto her hands and knees, the man can then get down from her behind. He can use his tongue to great effect.
Sitting on the man’s face gives the woman a lot of control. She can rub against his mouth and even his nose but she should be careful not to suffocate him, here she can get a great orgasm.
A common feature in porn videos is Men ejaculating on the woman’s face, while for some, this is unacceptable, and other women really enjoy it. The ideal position is kneeling astride her chest. But it could be trickery for the woman to take the man very far down her throat in this position. There is plenty of scope for her hands and tongue to provide more than enough stimulation. At the point of orgasm, the man can easily pull away, and ejaculate at the woman’s face and breast.
When it comes to Deep Throat, some positions are easier than others, the more space the woman’s throat has got, the better. It is far easier to do if a woman keeps her neck straight rather than bending over the Penis, the woman should control the pace by putting her hands on the man’s hips and only pulling him forward as she feels comfortable. Deep throat needs to keep control and do it if the guy thrust. The woman needs to keep control and do it at her own pace only that way would she be able to overcome the gagging reflex.
Some people enjoy the double thrill of giving and receiving pleasure at the same time. Side by side position helps both to be in control and hence doubles the pleasure. One positioning which suits this category is the “69” as the 6 and the 9 tend to be facing each other but directly opposite each other.
For so many people, this is the favorite because it is so natural and comfortable and has a lot going for it. The basic is the man on top and the woman underneath. This allows intimacy. You can see your partner’s face, kiss, and hug and caress each other. The full body contact felt means that in this position, the body’s largest sexual organ, the skin is stimulated. Feeling your lover’s skin against yours and your hearts beating next to each other is a great way to make love and not just have sex. The man has most of the control and good freedom of movement in this position. Most women though finds it equally enjoyable, especially knowing the fact, she does not have to really do anything but just relax and calmly enjoy all the pleasure.
Covering each other on oil or lubricant can add even more sensation as you can glide seductively over one another, maybe start with some massage and then add some extreme oil to each other’s chest before you move slowly and sensually into the missionary position. If you use oil, keep it well away from the Pelvic regions as it can rot condoms, there are many variations of the missionary positions available.
You may both find it more pleasurable if the woman bends her knees with her feet on the bed, she can take more control by putting her feet on the Man’s buttocks and using them to push up his pubic bone further into her clitoris. Alternatively, women can try wrapping their legs around their partners, known as the “wheel”; this position deepens penetration and increases sensation for both partners by tightening the vagina. Once it’s even deeper, the woman should bring her knees up to her Chest ad then lock them in place with her arms, but of the deepest penetration of all, the woman should place her legs over her partner’s shoulders. The further back her legs are, the deeper the penetration as it links from the vagina. If the Man is particularly tall, he should move slowly until he is sure his partner is comfortable.
To increase penetration, the woman can try putting a pillow underneath her hips. Try burying the place you put the pillow to see the best place to really help you hit the spot. Use a firm push rather than a soft one. You don’t want to sink into it. You want it to help put your clitoris in the right position for maximum stimulation. A variation on the missionary position which would take a bit more effort is the “carriage”. The man should put his hands under her hips and lift them up in the angle of his penis towards her G- spots. A further variation of the carriage is where the woman rests her legs on the Man’s anus or shoulders. You can add spice to the missionary position by the woman dangling her legs and thighs over the edge of the bed but it could be the sofa, kitchen table or even her office desk. The man can thrust deeper and the woman can be in a great position to touch her clitoris and breast. To feel him well, the woman wraps her legs around him, this really allows for maximum thrust. Another variation is the “Limping”. Start with the missionary position, the man then raises himself up to all fours (his two hands and kneels) while the woman raises her pelvis to meet his penis. The man stays still as the woman controls the action from underneath.
The ‘Coital Alignment Technique’. This is one of the most effective variations of the missionary position. This stimulates the G- spot and clitoris and it’s thought to assist in mutual orgasm. Also known as the CAT. The man rests his full weight on the woman then edges forward so that his pelvis is directly over hers. The woman wraps her legs around him, keeping him straight then presses up as she moves backwards, so that they are both rocking gently against each other. As orgasm approaches, no need speeding up, just keep rocking so that the orgasm comes naturally. This is a truly great experience and should result in orgasms for both partners.
In any variation, women can close their legs to tighten things up. However, this can speed the man’s orgasm, so handle with care, it can be great it the woman closes her legs because it makes the man enter the vagina from a sharper angle increasing the clitoral stimulation. His penis also stimulates her vagina lips if she keeps her legs together. This is known as “legging”
To improve the quality of orgasms, the woman can try clenching her buttocks while the man is on top; this increases blood flow to the pelvis and making her climax more intense. The woman can also try reaching between the man’s legs in this position to stroke his testicles gently, some men are of course more sensitive than others and however, stimulating his Testicles during sex can have a great thrill. You can also try pressing his perineum during sex or his fleshy pad between his penis and his anus. If you do this when he is inside you, it will increase his pleasure. Some Men and women like it when a finger is inserted in their back side during sex and the missionary position is one of the easiest for this. The prostrate gland is a chest- nut shaped lump about two-thirds of the way inside the man’s bum, try gently stroking this to send the man into the plateau of pleasure. Make sure anything inserted in his bum has short nails or lubricated because the inside wall is far thinner than that of the vagina and can easily be torn, however a careful approach with a well lubricated finger or toy should be fine and can be intensely pleasurable.
If you want to have great sex in the missionary position, both of you need to work at it, once the woman stretches her vagina vessels and stroking the man genital zones, he can make such circular movements with his hips to stimulate the G- spots or press down with his pubic bone to her clitoris. Obviously, you can reach out the woman’s breast during this position, but don’t just go for the obvious, kissing her neck and stroking her Torso may have just more effect. The missionary position offers lots of scope and has always been the number one choice for so many people for so long. It is great for clitoral stimulation and gives you both the chance to touch each others bodies during sex and you can kiss and hug whilst you make love. Who said the missionary position has to be boring?
THE WOMAN ON TOP
This is another popular position. She rides the man and she has the control. She can set the speed and depth of penetration. Obviously, the man’s movement is tempered in this position and add to it by been pinned down by the woman makes it more interesting. Sometimes women like to lean forward and kiss their partner and in some cases they like to sit upright, holding back as they bounce on their partner’s penis. It gradually takes longer for a man to cum in this position, and so it’s a great one to try, if you want things to last longer. If the man wants deeper penetration, he can arch his penis towards the woman. This position is already great for deep penetration. One of the best things about this position is the amount of clitoral stimulation it allows. The more the woman leans forward, the better the friction it provides. Use lots of Lubricants if there is a little penetration problem. For a short but also sensual treat, start with the traditional woman- on top position, and gradually move until the woman is lying directly on top of the man. By gently rocking, sucking while the man is inside her. The clitoris and pubic area get maximum stimulation, while his penis stimulates her inside. It is a kind of reverse- technique of CAT. Closer legs together create maximum pleasure together. This position is great if the man is very well endowed as it controls the depth of penetration.
Another way to vary this position is to start the “woman-on top” then the man gradually sits up, holding the woman in his arms and then rocks their way to climax. You can add to the woman on top position by moving your legs. The woman sits on the man’s penis, puts her legs over his shoulder, then leans back on her hands, and he also then leans back which pushes his penis against her G-Spot to increase the pleasure. Or why not start with the Man on his knees, and then the woman sits astride him with her legs out- behind him. Then uses her arms to support herself, the man grips her lips to control and support the thrusting, the raised knee in this position puts the clitoris in the perfect place to rub against the man’s torso and gives the stimulation it needs. Some men like having their nipples pinched or kissed or even sucked, while they make love. “Women- on top” is the perfect position to make lots of chest nipple teasing easy. Conversely, some enjoy having their breast teased when they are on top, try teasing your partner, shaking your breast tantalizingly millimeters on his face and pulling away of course, you want him to catch your nipples between his lips but some stage anticipation could be a wonderful thing. If you have long hair, brushing it over his body seductively whilst you ride over him can add an extra pleasure. Leaning forward and teasing him with your breast, then leaning backwards could make it easier for his penis to hit your G- spot. And squeezing your vagina muscles while gliding and moving backwards and forwards will blow you both away. For a real mutual treat, a woman should lower herself into the man’s penis but only slide down as far as the heads before also slowly easily back. Repeat this, ten times before sliding all the way to the base of his shaft in one go. After that deep thrust, pull back up again and tease the head eight times before sliding back down. This time for two thrusts, next do seven shallow thrust and three deep thrusts and so on. Try griping his penis with your vagina muscles when he is on the shallow thrust. By the time you get up to the ten deep thrust, you will be giving this technique a definitive ten out of ten. Woman- on top sex is also a very easy position for stroking a man’s testicles. In fact, hands could be used in many ways to make sex even better. If a woman stretches the skin of a man’s penis gently down by holding onto his base, it will add to his thrills and also most likely speed up his orgasm. Feeling a rush of blood to the Head arouses some women. If you are one, lean back in a woman- on top position until your head hangs off the edge. It clearly presents the clitoris for any stimulation by either partner. If one of you is significantly taller than the other, then “woman- on top” is the easiest position. If sex does not last long enough, woman- on top can improve it. The woman can keep penetration shallow and go her pace rather than his. Try the stop-start techniques while bee in the “woman- on top” position. The man should keep concentration, lying still while the woman moves up and down slowly. When she clearly wants to cum, she can stop until he can hold his orgasm back and then starts again. Every time the man nears climax, the woman should keep stop-start going until she is ready for the man to cum, then he can start moving his hips and both partners get to enjoy a spine tingling orgasm.
Another fun variation of the “woman- on top” is the “she-mafia”. It takes a bit of practice but you will have fun practicing. The woman straddles the man backwards, she then puts her hands on his knees on either side of him for leverage, and he gets added visual stimulation from seeing her buttocks. She gets great G- spot stimulation however moves slowly in this position. Until you know exactly what the best angle is for both of you, if you don’t want the penis to pin back too far. When the man is about to climax, the woman should lean forward, grab his toes and tickles them; the nerves in his toes are connected to the ones in his penis so this will make his orgasm more intense. With the woman on top, you can kiss and caress each other increasingly if the woman is pregnant or either of you have large stomach, this can be the easiest position to use. This position allows lots of scope for caressing each other. Try looking into each others eyes while making love in this position is an intimately mind blowing experience.
SIDE BY SIDE
Sex side by side can be wonderful; possibly the most relaxing of sexual positions is the parallel sex. You both lie on your sides, facing the same direction, with the man behind the woman. The man can slide in after which you both gently thrust and rock towards orgasm. You can kiss in this position and the man can stroke the woman all over at the same time. It is also called spooning.
Face to face
This is side by side sex facing each other as the name implies. This is trickier to get into been able to stare into your lover’s eyes while you two have sex and as a comforting level of intimacy starting either by missionary or woman- on top, then rolling over to your sides. If the penetration is not deep enough, then the woman can bend her leg then rest it on top of the man’s thigh. Another twist on this position is to have sex facing each other while the woman wraps her legs around the man’s waist to deepen penetration. The man simply bends his legs to give a greater leverage.
To get supper close and get greater stimulation, try side by side sex with scissoring, face each other and sit. Put your legs together before the man slides inside. Hold on to each other together for leverage, you could try moving your hips in a circular motion rather than thrusting for a side CAT- like position, If you find side by side sex trickery.
Try starting with the woman- on top position with the woman leaning back and resting on her arms, then roll into side by side sex when her legs get tired. The man should lock his thighs around her waist and hold her thighs before rolling. This will give a deeper penetration and traditional side by side sex and the roll itself will give you a thrill.
The Limb Lift
If either of you is large, make things easier by taking side by side sex from different angles. The woman should lie on her back with the man lying on his sides, the woman then lifts her right leg up, and then the man puts his leg over her and inserts his penis. This position gives lots of scope for the woman to rub her clitoris against his thigh. For true indulgence, try parallel sex with a glass of champagne in your hands. You can feed each other erotic meals like red grapes, chips whilst enjoying each others bodies. Generally, sex side by side is a relaxing and a romantic position. It can be a wake up call as it is great for slowly exploring each others bodies; side by side positions are good for larger pregnant people.
There are other common positions like the “doggy” and standing and even sitting. For now, the commonest positions are what are needed by new couples before advancing into further and more sophisticated positions. Maximum fun could still be achieved with these basic positions. Sex is meant to be enjoyed and whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. Explore it to the fullest in order to get the maximum possible satisfaction.